What would your Child tell you about Toilet Training?

Jenny Hale

Next to sleeping and feeding, toilet training is often the other big challenge parents face in the early years. For many children and their parents it is a simple and straight forward process, but for others it turns into a drawn out affair, or even a power struggle. It is naturally an area parents want sorted and tidied up by an appropriate age. Jenny Hale suggests your child might like you to know some things.

Dear Mum and Dad, I know you think it is really important for me to wear undies and use the potty. I just want you to know that I need to have certain things in place before I can manage this business.

So, Mum and Dad, this is what you need to know, and if you keep these things in mind I will more likely to sail through the process!

A Wait until Im ready attitude

Timing is important. Look to see how many of these I can do. Then you will know if it is a good time to start training me.

Do I

Pause and make signs when going number twos?
Have regular bowel movements that are passed easily?
Often stay dry for two hours at a time in the daytime?
Wake up dry from a nap?
Tell you when I am wet or dirty?
Show an interest in the process and a desire to imitate big people?
Like the feeling of being clean and neat?
Undress myself or at least pull my pants down?

And Mum - its going to help if you dont listen to Aunty Dorothy. I know she reckons all her kids were toilet trained by 14 months. But she did it her way, and you get to do it your way. Please treat me as a unique individual!

Some positive expectations

Its going to make a real difference if I can already follow instructions and do as I am told most of the time. If I wont pack up my toys when you ask, Im not likely to sit still on the potty either. Those things that get co-operation from children in general are also going to be a help with toilet training: consistent boundaries, positive feedback, clear expectations and a warm relationship.

My training will go more smoothly if you have some time and energy to focus on it. Gina Ford, who wrote Potty Training in One Week, says lots of helpful things about how it can happen quickly. If you had a week or so that wasnt as busy as usual, you could relax and concentrate on helping me rather than having to worry about going to meetings and getting out the door.

Some routine and predictability

I have my favourite times of when I like to fill my nappy. That would be a good time to encourage me to sit on the potty or toilet while you read me or a story or put on a tape. It wont be long before I get to know what to do with a full bladder or bowel and soon I will know its that time again!

I also think I should sit on the potty after a meal, before and after we go out, at bath time and when I am holding myself.

Some of us kids dont like to sit on the potty, so leave it around and try some of these hot tips.

Tips for a good start

We love it when you tell us a made-up story about other children who start using the potty or toilet. (Look out for our giveaways)

The toilet can be a scary place to sit because we feel like we could fall in! A seat ring on the toilet seat feels safer.

I love being able to step up to the toilet myself and get on and off the toilet without any help so a little step is all I need.

Theres lots to remember - so please go over the steps a few times and show me what to do, cause that helps me to remember.

Tell Mummy or Daddy
Go to the bathroom
Take off my pants
Sit on the toilet or potty
Try to do a wee or a poo
Wipe myself (or ask for help to wipe)
Flush the toilet
Wash my hands

Star charts

I like it when you notice how well I am doing and tell me. I love it when you make a chart and I get to put the stickers on for doing something in the potty or for remembering to wash my hands. It makes me want to use the potty all the time!

Tips

Here are some more tips to make this a fun thing!

Have a few books and tapes that I can listen to when I sit on the potty!
Let me decide when to go. When you keep reminding me, I stop thinking about it myself.
Keep nappies for sleeping. When I have a nappy on, it is so easy to just go!
Use pants or trainer pants. Its so easy to know when I have just gone!
Put me in clothes that are easy to take on and off.
We boys love this one leave a ping pong ball in the toilet. We want to see if we can aim at it.
Let me flush the toilet all by myself.
Give me a special chair or stool to use to get up to the toilet.
We love it when you pretend that teddy is going to the toilet and he sits there and you give him a sticker. Then we know what to do ourselves.

Hot tip
Role playing. Use a favourite toy such as teddy and go through the steps of teddy using the toilet, washing his hands and being praised for being such a big boy.

Hot tip
Keep relaxed, Mum and Dad. I will get the hang of this if the atmosphere is light and fun!

Hot tip
Stay calm when there are accidents. Children need to know you are on their side not against them!

Article sourced with permission from Parenting magazine, Parents Inc.

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